Feeling full of shit?…
The struggle to poo is a real deal in keto land. Getting a daily deuce in is going to be a thing of the past when you are following this way of eating. Unless, you feed the gnarly colon demon some rather ridiculous sounding remedies.
0. Sugar-Free Gummies. Nothing sounds more appealing when on a “diet” than a handful of these adorable, (insert adorable gummy animal) non threatening, delightful gummy babies in your face hole. STOP!! Be prepared for an eruption that rivals that of Mt St Helens! While the taste is reminiscent of your childhood, the fury is that of the Nile! You might as well eat this “treat” on the toilet seat, watching NetFlix and chilling until the aftershocks are over.
0. Smooth Move Tea. Pretty self explanatory. This is literally, “shit tea”. It’s like the GHB of laxatives. Things seem okay, a little questionable but, you got this… Just kidding! While on that conference call hours into your work day, the rumbling in your tummy is you getting ready to shart your pants. Weekend use is recommended.
0. Ducalax. Just no… Unless you need a colonoscopy prep, run for the hills. This adorable pink pill is the kiss of disaster! Waking up with crap cramps so bad you are praying for death. One dance with this dump Devil will have you posting cautionary tales for decades to come.
0. Magnesium Citrate. This bottle of booty clearing jungle juice with have you cleared out quicker that a PeeWee Herman Peepshow. One and done!
Really… choosing your poop potion comes down to how much quality time you plan on spending planned or not on the porcelain poo portal.
Have a friend on speed dial that loves you enough to bring you Tucks ass pads when your sphincter snaps like an old rubber band from the acidic doom coming from your derrière.
Just another day in ketodise.
Poop wisely friends.
